Fall Lineup: First Impressions

Well, it's that time of year again. Time to turn on the TV, crack the ice cream bucket, put lemonade mix in the coffee maker (that's a thing, right?), and flip the cushions on the couch. It's time for fall TV!

Easily the best part of September is seeing all these new shows. Talk about the land of opportunity: we get to watch all of these terrible ideas come to life on screen! Some of the shows this year sound like some sort of clever joke.

I'll be looking at shows that I will be watching this fall--even if it's just once or twice. I have not seen any episodes of these series, only trailers and preview footage.

ABC

I saved the worst for first.

Selfie

Tue Sep. 30 8/7c

Yikes.
I'm the kind of person who likes to pass judgement on TV shows, and this one just makes me sad. In Selfie, the lovely, vapid Eliza Dooley discovers that she has traded popularity on social media for genuine social skills. Consequently, her vocabulary is dominated with slang like "totes" and "lol", and every interaction is somehow completely devoid of intelligent thought.
So good luck with this one ABC.

How To Get Away With Murder

Thu Sep. 25 10/9c

A drama about law students learning how to lie sounds like fun. It looks like a pretty dark one, and Viola Davis looks killer in it. I'm no law student, so I don't really care how many rules this one breaks. I've got my fingers crossed for it.

CBS

This network has the most obnoxious programming I've ever seen.

Madam Secretary

Sun Sep. 21 8:30/7:30c

This one focuses on the story of Elizabeth McCord, a sassy, no-nonsense Virginia State prof whose circumstances change drastically when she is asked to step in as secretary of state. She shows her smarts off to her colleagues and makes risky moves, but since she's the protagonist they're actually very respectable.
I hope they can make a Madam Secretary: Houston and a Madam Secretary: Seattle if this is successful.

FOX

Red Band Society

Wed Sep. 17 9/8c

Seems pretty emotional. It's a drama about a bunch of kids who (apparently) live in the world's coolest long-term hospital. They all meet each other and form an unbreakable bond. Because they're all dying. Full of wholesome characters and featuring Octavia Spencer from The Help. This one's gonna get me.

Gotham

Mon Sep. 22 8/7c

A dark drama focusing on the birth of Gotham City as we know it, this and The Flash are 2014's most prominent additions to American TV's collection of comic-books-turned-TV-shows. And this one looks good. It's dark and suspenseful, and knowing all of the characters is a plus. Hopefully it holds up well. I'd hate to see it go down the tubes.